Is "I'm sorry your to far away." a one liner.

[(deleted)]

Personally I think it is. It's not that I'm not looking in my local area it's that I'm looking everywhere. I've had some bad experiences both far and wide but I haven't given up hope that somewhere I'll find someone. Personally I've never gone for long term internet relationships there a short term thing to allow two people to get to know each other. But isn't that we are all here to look close to home and far and wide for that one person that matches us. Or am I missing the point?

[fringey]

I don't think so. Some of us just don't have the funds to pursue a long distance relationship. Doesn't mean I won't take a shot if I like someone, but it makes things very difficult.

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
"A life lived without passion is a life not lived.

[rayman]

There's also the yearnings and feelings you have for this person knowing that they live so far away and you can't be with them. Phone calls, chatting online, and emails don't do much to relieve those feelings. Sure there are a small percentage that workout if the other person is willing to move, but I find most will break up after a few years of living together.

Then there's the dark side, they find someone else more exciting and appealing then you, they end of dumping you with a "Dear John" email. So after wasting time chatting online for months flying back and forth, all you end up with is more money you owe your credit card.

[fringey]

I've done long distance and it is not fun. Even worse is when you do get to spend time together, the expectations are usually higher than the actual experience and that just makes things worse.

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
"A life lived without passion is a life not lived.

[rayman]

When you have high expectations those are the worst. A woman told me she had tried the long distance thing, she met some guy online who was funny charming and his pictures made him look decent. When she finally met him in person she finds that she wasn't all that attracted to him physically, and even though he was the same person he was online he did have a few quirks that bothered her. Once she got home she dumped the guy.

[fringey]

rayman wrote: When you have high expectations those are the worst. A woman told me she had tried the long distance thing, she met some guy online who was funny charming and his pictures made him look decent. When she finally met him in person she finds that she wasn't all that attracted to him physically, and even though he was the same person he was online he did have a few quirks that bothered her. Once she got home she dumped the guy.



I went through that, except I was the dumpee. I was throughly honest about myself and all, but I just didn't click for her. Unfortunately, I felt differently. It caused some problems in our friendship for a while, but we got past it.

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
"A life lived without passion is a life not lived.

[offworldgirl]

Well, as a girl who is saying "You're too far away" I certainly don't think it's just a line.

It comes down to what kind of relationship a person is looking for. If what you want is just someone to talk to then distance wouldn't be a factor because you can get what you want out of the relationship via chatting online or on the phone. However, if what you're looking for is someone to spend "face time" with, to go out and do things together, then distance is going to be a major roadbloack to getting what you want out of the relationship.

Obviously there's going to be a certain amount of "getting to know one another" over the internet or phone before you'd move on to a in-person meeting regardless of distance, and there's always the possibility that you may have initially just been interested in an online connection, but if, at any point, you mutually want to move things into the "real world" then distance becomes a factor.

I have two friends who each fell in love with a Brit. They kept their trans-Atlantic relationships alive for 5 and 7 years, respectively, before they got married (now married 4 and 10 years, respectively). Each of them must truly love their partner to have made such an effort for so long before finally being together, and that only worked out because the Brits wanted to emigrate to the USA anyway. They also spent small fortunes in long-distance phone charges and airfare to stay in touch. Even if I thought I had the desire to have maintained such a long-distance relatioship, the expenses of doing so would force me to end it. I'm also not particularly keen on relocating, and if a distant guy was equally rooted to his locale, that too can doom a relationship. So it's easier if you are both already established and comfortable in the same location - the relatioship simply would require fewer compromises from either person.

[ochooar]

I think distance is only an issue if you want it to be.

[aceofspades604 (deleted)]

ochooar wrote: I think distance is only an issue if you want it to be.



Agreed. Like any other obstacle, it can be overcome.

[rayman]

aceofspades604 wrote: ochooar wrote: I think distance is only an issue if you want it to be.



Agreed. Like any other obstacle, it can be overcome.



That's all good and easy to say but the "reality" factor is most long distance relationships don't work, only a small percentage succeed. You might want to overcome the obstacle but the other person won't commit, she/he has to have the same desire you do to make it work.

[fringey]

rayman wrote: aceofspades604 wrote: ochooar wrote: I think distance is only an issue if you want it to be.



Agreed. Like any other obstacle, it can be overcome.



That's all good and easy to say but the "reality" factor is most long distance relationships don't work, only a small percentage succeed. You might want to overcome the obstacle but the other person won't commit, she/he has to have the same desire you do to make it work.



Not to mention the cost of trying to maintain a LDR.

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
"A life lived without passion is a life not lived.