Online Dating

[offworldgirl]

Ok guys, I'm wondering about something I'm noticing here, and I've noticed it on another dating site on which I used to have a profile too. Why are guys so eager to move all contact OUTSIDE of the dating site's system?

Often after only a couple e-mail exchanges within the dating site's system a guy will request future contact via his personal e-mail address, off-site instant messengers (Yahoo, MSN, ICQ, etc.), and/or his phone number. I'm confused as to why there is this mad rush to change interaction from within the dating site to outside of it?

Pretty much all dating sites (including the Passions Network) have an anonymous internal e-mail system expressly for the purpose of obscuring your personal e-mail address. They all have IM and Chat applications too, often with audio/video capability through a web browser interface. If a dating site already has all of that stuff integrated what need is there to - especially shortly after introducing one's self - to ask that contact be taken outside? Frankly, it makes me uncomfortable. I'd have to know and feel I had some level of trust before I'd move contact from "anonymous" to "personal" or from "online" to "offline."

I suppose I should mention that when I had a profile online before, the experience on that other dating site was not a positive one. I was far too open about myself, too willing to move contact outside the safeguards of the dating site's systems. I ended up having to delete more than just the dating site account as a result and basically every single guy that contacted me ultimately tripped himself up and proved to have been lying to me. As a result of the prior bad experiences online I'm now suspicious, over-cautious, and guarded concerning my personal information.

I'll admit I now sort of assume guys are lying to me until evidence proves otherwise, which makes me seriously doubt I'll ever be able to truly TRUST anyone I meet online. I'm having serious doubts that "online dating" is appropriate for me, but I'm simply not meeting anyone in the "real world." It doesn't help that I'm in the Twin Cities, which last year made some list of worst cities in which to be single.

I do everything ELSE online (pay bills, banking, shopping, work, etc.), so I thought maybe online dating would be a natural extension for me. Now I'm thinking I should just join a local sci-fi fan club, where I can meet like-minded people in 3-D, and leave the "online connections" to the Borg.

[jamie77]

I would assume it is because if they have contact details outside the site then they are not subject to the blocking functions one could apply if means of communication were solely to be through the site.

Or a more generous view would be that they are so smitten with you that they want to ensure that contact can be maintained if the dating site was to accidently delete your account.

[dorthytrek5]

Quote: Pretty much all dating sites (including the Passions Network) have an anonymous internal e-mail system expressly for the purpose of obscuring your personal e-mail address.
Internet Online Dating Agency WebSite for Adult Singles UK
Every single data on dating website is used for generating revenue online. There are several thousand marketing companies which purchase email list from these websites, and they pay thousands of dollars to these dating websites.

So always use a secondary email id while posting your profile on an online dating website.

Dorthy

[feedback]

We would just like to make sure everyone knows that we absolutely do not sell (or provide) member email addresses to any third party.

We would recommend that members not give out their personal email addresses to people online for safety reasons...especially since they can send and receive messages here without doing that.

Once you feel comfortable with someone on this site, you can add them into your 'Favorites/Friends' list, which will allow all limits on internal email messages to be lifted (which means we won't keep track of how many messages you send back and forth each day, and the spam filters are lifted as well).

We recently added a way for members to add other sites they are members of, into their profiles...so that they can let other people know where they spend time online (if they want that information to be public).

And we are debating whether or not to allow members to add their other contact information into their site profiles as well. This would in fact be other email addresses, external IM preferences, etc.

If we do this, it will likely have a public/private filter in place, to allow members to make this information available only to members of the site, or even more likely, only to members on their Favorites/Friends list.

We are not sure if we will be adding the additional contact option though. It is still being discussed.

Separately, on the topic of safety, please take a moment to review the 'Online Dating Safety' information in the 'Help' section of the site.

Thanks,
8)

[ochooar]

offworldgirl wrote: Ok guys, I'm wondering about something I'm noticing here, and I've noticed it on another dating site on which I used to have a profile too. Why are guys so eager to move all contact OUTSIDE of the dating site's system?

Often after only a couple e-mail exchanges within the dating site's system a guy will request future contact via his personal e-mail address, off-site instant messengers (Yahoo, MSN, ICQ, etc.), and/or his phone number. I'm confused as to why there is this mad rush to change interaction from within the dating site to outside of it?

Pretty much all dating sites (including the Passions Network) have an anonymous internal e-mail system expressly for the purpose of obscuring your personal e-mail address. They all have IM and Chat applications too, often with audio/video capability through a web browser interface. If a dating site already has all of that stuff integrated what need is there to - especially shortly after introducing one's self - to ask that contact be taken outside? Frankly, it makes me uncomfortable. I'd have to know and feel I had some level of trust before I'd move contact from "anonymous" to "personal" or from "online" to "offline."

I suppose I should mention that when I had a profile online before, the experience on that other dating site was not a positive one. I was far too open about myself, too willing to move contact outside the safeguards of the dating site's systems. I ended up having to delete more than just the dating site account as a result and basically every single guy that contacted me ultimately tripped himself up and proved to have been lying to me. As a result of the prior bad experiences online I'm now suspicious, over-cautious, and guarded concerning my personal information.

I'll admit I now sort of assume guys are lying to me until evidence proves otherwise, which makes me seriously doubt I'll ever be able to truly TRUST anyone I meet online. I'm having serious doubts that "online dating" is appropriate for me, but I'm simply not meeting anyone in the "real world." It doesn't help that I'm in the Twin Cities, which last year made some list of worst cities in which to be single.

I do everything ELSE online (pay bills, banking, shopping, work, etc.), so I thought maybe online dating would be a natural extension for me. Now I'm thinking I should just join a local sci-fi fan club, where I can meet like-minded people in 3-D, and leave the "online connections" to the Borg.



Sometimes someone might want to continue contact outside the dating system site because they have only a limited membership, most dating sites offer a few days trial for under £5.00 but to subscribe for longer is often too expensive for what you get, so the plan is to contact as many as you can in the trial peroid and then pursue further contact via personal e-mail. This is actually one reason I like this site, you don't pay anything. Not that I wouldn't its just that I think its not very good how some sites prey on a basic human need for companionship just to make them (the dating site) a stack of money.