Leap of Faith

[ninjabear]

I don't know why Pam deserted me.

I knew she had problems with psychotic stalker ex-boyfriends before, and I know the Salvation Army is her church.
(FYI: Salvation Army officers are ordained members of their church. Captains are also considered pastors and conduct services every Sunday.)

Seeking understanding (hoping for third party mediation) I called the local station, found out whom to contact and wrote a letter...a deeply personal letter.

I sought spiritual guidance and emotional counsel; what I got was a visit from the police. A Salvation Army captain---a church pastor---had deliberately misidentified me to the police as a stalker, and used priviledged communications to do it, twice.

I'd rather die of lonliness than take Pam back, but I'd still like to hear an apology for the mistreatment and wrongful accusations leveled against me. I made a leap of faith with Pam; turns out it was head first into a granite quarry.

[twincarb]

Women tend to rip out our hearts and keep them for trophies. But keep the faith brother and never give up, i am sure that the perfect lady is out there and you will find her.When you do let me know if she has a sister and if she's hot( he he he). For i an a bad man with low morals and high hopes

[valarules (deleted)]

Excuse me!? what about the guys who date a girl for almost a year and then dumps her for her best friend (who is at least a year younger) without even telling her and she has to find out through mutual friends and then a year later finds out that the same couple is getting married? Guys can be just as visous as girls and sometimes worse.

[rayman]

Just to be fair I do think men stick their necks out more for women when it comes to approaching them and then being rejected. Can't do nothing much about that it's tradition.lol Most of the time men shoot themselves in the foot when they're in a relationship or dating by being too needy, calling her everyday, can't say "No" to a woman, being available all the time, and buying gifts to a lady you've only known for two weeks. Then try to figure out why women have dumped them.

[twincarb]

valarules wrote: Excuse me!? what about the guys who date a girl for almost a year and then dumps her for her best friend (who is at least a year younger) without even telling her and she has to find out through mutual friends and then a year later finds out that the same couple is getting married? Guys can be just as visous as girls and sometimes worse.

I can trump that one.Got married which lasted two, yes TWO weeks shen she threw me out for one of my so called mates then get's in touch 11 years later to tell me i have a child and wants to get back with me. Rips my heart out again and then wants maintainance for said child. I'm pretty sure that no one can top that one and hope that no one else has been THAT unlucky

[valarules (deleted)]

I'm not trying to play 'who's had the worst relationship' or anything like that, I was just pointing out that guys can just as bad as girls when it comes down to it.

[ninjabear]

Let us all agree that "this is only an exibition it is not a competition so please, no wagering."

Allow me to offer myself as an example:

I agree with my grandfather (a professional musician and IRA courier) when he said "If God made anything better than women, he kept it for himself."

That said, my technique with women is no technique at all. I like who I am and if you're not impressed, that's too damn bad---NEXT!
I'm part ninja, part teddy bear and all love machine (go ahead and laugh, everyone does) and I'm told I'm fun in bed (Nicole said it in public, I have witnesses).
I'm not looking for anything quick, cheap or superficial; h--k--ps are for hook-ers. Sure, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else but even now, over a year later, I miss Pam so much want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I haul my sorry --- out of bed so I can come here; it's nice to be among friends.

[twincarb]

Bear, sorry if it seemed that i was tryin' to one up anyone,did'nt mean to sound that way.Apologies to valarules as well, bad case of keyboard in mouth.
The on;y thing that seems to help our condition is time, possibly beer as well.
Sorry again to all

[ninjabear]

I'll start by saying no problem, twincarb; that's just human nature.

Pam and I knew each other for six years; the second three were "friends with benefits". Since you're getting only one side of the story, I have to admit I'm not so easy to get along with, at best.

I'm a worn out, half-blind, broken down bipolar bear. I can be cranky, obnoxious, irritating, stubborn, cold-blooded and vindictive. I'm also sappy, sentimental, silly and prone to dancing to music only I can hear. Subject to fits of imagination only Walter Mitty could appreciate, and often compulsively creative.

Whoa, look at the time! I've got to get back to Notre Dame---hey those bells don't ring themselves, you know---but there is one thing I never thought possible.

You may not believe this, given what you've just read, but Pam didn't just make me feel special, she made me feel sexy.

[twincarb]

Bear, i know what you mean, the x made me crazy mad and crazy happy all at the same time, still don't know where i went wrong and even worse STILL love her even though she would destroy me again and again.
Us guys must be really stupid, think vulcans have right idea, supress all emotions, they will only hurt you.

[rayman]

I recently started reading Doc Love's articles at (removed) he responds to readers who send him emales. Doc has a good system on understanding women and what we do wrong in relationships. It will open your eyes.

[Marinci_PREV (deleted)]

[deleted]

[rayman]

marinci wrote: rayman wrote: I recently started reading Doc Love's articles at (removed) he responds to readers who send him emales. Doc has a good system on understanding women and what we do wrong in relationships. It will open your eyes.

O dear. Is this one of those "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" philosophies, then giving you a list of things you have to be and do in order to get him/her?

Actually it's for men who have ever been dumped (and to this day don't know why), has gone out with psycho women, or is divorced or getting one. Basically guys that don't understand women.

Doc's book "The System" is based on how things actually are, not someone's hypothesis. It shows a man what he is doing right, what he is doing wrong, and helps him. From meeting Ms. Right and keeping her, to staying out of divorce court.

It's a set of principles that women respond to possibly. If men have the patients and will to improve his life and can set his ego aside, then this book is his earthly salvation when it comes to romantic relationships. Doc Love is not trying to make a phony or actor out of you. What he is doing is coaching you to get rid of the rough edges that perhaps men are or are not aware of.

Doc Love can explain it better than I can, you can listen to his 1 hour live radio show at (removed) on Sundays 11.00 a.m. est (check your time zones).

[valarules (deleted)]

What about the girls who don't get the guys?

[ninjabear]

Nothing wrong in seeking out professional counsel.

I just finished reading The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker; an excellent work of non-fiction that offered support to my theory. Why would Pam (or any woman, for that matter) desert a thoughtful, attentive lover who did nothing but cherish and respect her, and would kill or die to protect her? (Oh yeah, I have it bad.)

I said it myself: Pam's had trouble with psychotic x-boyfriends in the past (and has the nasty knife wound scars to prove it). She's what de Becker called a "serial victim"; she couldn't cope with someone who would NEVER smack her around or push her head down. I am a gentleman, bound to a code of honor, by an oath I swore to my shidoshi. If it's not offered freely, without hesitation or reservation, I don't want it.

I should've known the night she said, "I don't feel like it tonight." I'll never forget the surprise in her eyes when I said, "Okay, would you like to go for a snack?" Pam admitted that evening that she was used to having the issue forced---I could not believe it! That admission made me love and want to protect her all the more.
Though I did my level best to avoid screwing up a good thing, she "left me anyhow and the days got worse and worse until you see I've gone completely out of my mind---and,
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho!
To the funny farm!
Where life is beautiful all the time
and I'll be happy to see those nice young men
in their clean white coats
'cause they're coming to take me away, HA-HA!"