Guinea Pigs vs. Tribbles

[fringey]

Someone posted this to one of my Yahoo Groups and I thought it very appropriate for this forum!

14. Guinea Pigs: Gender can be determined by poking the piggy's
tummy to see if genitalia pops out.
Tribbles: Gender is irrelevant; they're going to reproduce anyway.

13. Guinea Pigs: Good pet to give a young child to teach
responsibility in caring for another life.
Tribbles: Good pet to give a young child to convince him or her
never ever to want another pet again so long as s/he lives.

12. Guinea Pigs: Stink.
Tribbles: Don't stink. You'd be surprised how important a
consideration this is after a few years of pet life.

11. Guinea Pigs: Have been known to consume their young.*
Tribbles: Leave you enough "young" to give to the neighbors along
with the excess zucchini and tomatoes from the garden.

10. Guinea Pigs: School gossip coolness factor: 1.5
Tribbles: School gossip coolness factor: 147.2

9. Guinea Pigs: The alleged instrument of "stuffing" rumors aimed at
destroying people's reputations.
Tribbles: The instrument of stuffing Klingon engine rooms, aimed at
destroying the Empire's sanity.

8. Guinea Pigs: Limited to colors found in nature.
Tribbles: Anything you like, including Electric Kool-Aid Blue.

7. "I have Guinea Pigs at home": Met with vague interest, yawns, or
shrugs, marking you as fairly ordinary
"I have Tribbles at home": Met with blank looks, snorts of derision,
or shrieks of horror, marking you as a slavering geek (or anti-
Klingon)

6. Guinea Pigs: Average life span 5 years, s----l maturity 4-6
weeks, estrous cycle 2 weeks, pregnancy 7 to 9 weeks, average litter
size 3, weaning age 3 weeks.
Tribbles: Average life span unknown (because no one can bear to have
them around long enough to die of natural causes), s----l maturity
in utero, estrous cycle 47 seconds, pregnancy 12 hours, average
litter size 10; weaning age unknown (since no one has actually seen
them eat or nurse their offspring).

5. Guinea Pig: Unhappy slang term among Terrans for "victim of
experiment."
Tribble: Vicious slang term in Klingon Empire for "mindless
promiscuous voracious vermin."

4. Guinea Pigs: Can run around the house in a hamster ball for
exercise.
Tribbles: Can be rolled around the house in a hamster ball for
amusement, but they get dizzy and throw up. On the bright side,
Romulans are allergic to Tribble barf.

3. Guinea Pigs: Can be skinned for coats and handwarmers.
Tribbles: In a pinch, will substitute for Shatner's toupee.

2. Guinea Pigs: Everyone has heard of them, but not everyone
necessarily wants one.
Tribbles: Everyone has heard of them, but most days you can't give
them away.

1. Guinea Pigs: Steal attention from less-interesting rodents like
mice and rats.
Tribbles: Are suing Visa for "intellectual property theft" over that
rabbits-multiplying -while-the- check-clears commercial.

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
"A life lived without passion is a life not lived.

[caseystiletto_PREV (deleted)]

While you're out there getting me that hobbit, will you pick up one of those Electric Kool-Aid Blue Tribbles, too? Cause I'm iced in today and school was cancelled....and I'm lonely...tear..

[fringey]

Awwww....I'm sorry I wasn't around to cheer you up. Hope that frakkin ice doesn't make it's way here. Last year and ice storm caused power outages for about two weeks in some places. We were out for almost 5 days at our place. Just know that whenever you are cold and lonely, someone has warm thoughts about you.

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
"A life lived without passion is a life not lived.