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Why are we all here????
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fringey




fringey

Joined:
April 4, 2006
Posts: 1353

PostPosted:     Post subject: Why are we all here????
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Strange that a forum on a site dedicated to relationships doesn't have any posts about relationships!!! Laughing So I thought I would throw out this question to one and all and, hopefully, start those grey cells working.

Why did we all join Trek Passions? The obvious answer is that we are looking for a relationship with someone of a like mind to us. But, why did we feel the need to join a dating site to find that person? Why is it even important to us to find another person?

Psychiatrists will tell you that one needs to feel complete without havign a significant other. They say that feeling the need to have that other person is a flaw in our character that could be a neurosis even.

To that I say "BOSH!"

I am sorry. I will try and watch my language in the rest of this post! Laughing

In all seriousness, we are human, but we are also animals. The need to be with others, to care and be cared for is natural. Some will say it is the natural instinct for procreation that drives us. May be. But, I think, if that were the case, we could simply legalize prostitution and solve all the emotitional problem of loneliness with a handful of cash. Many do. But, that isn't enough for most people and surely isn't for the people here. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.

I have had plenty of strictly s----l encounters that were satisfying to the flesh, but those one night (or even shorter) stands didn't satisfy on a deeper level. My body was happy, but my mind and heart wanted so much more. The best S-- I ever had was always with someone I loved. Of course, the worst S-- was too, but it didn't matter because I was in love and happy. The S-- was far from the important thing.

So, that is my reason for being here. I feel like a complete person. I could probably live the rest of life single and exist in a comfortable way, but it would not be a good life! It wouldn't simply be getting from day to day, finding a few things to enjoy here and there, but never completely filling the hole inside.

I am not gonna lie and say I am completely happy with myself. I have some things I am working on, just like 99% of the world. But, I also know that I am as good as I can be TODAY and will be better tomorrow. So, if the shrinks were right, I wouldn't need Trek Passions. But, I know better. I have a lot to give and I want someone to take it. I have always considered myself a hopeless romantic. I truly believe there is someone out there who is perfect for me and that will fill the need in my life to share myself with them. I also believe they feel and think the same way themselves.

So why are you here, true believers? Do you think the same way but express it differently? Or are your reasons different? Talk to us. Let us get to know you.

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
"A Life lived without passion is a life not lived."
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invisiblesteph




invisiblesteph

Joined:
April 8, 2006
Posts: 99

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I was just bored... but I like talking to ppl every now and then about stuff im into... and I like sci fi.. so why not join this site?
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lucifer666
(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject: Re: Why are we all here????

fringey wrote:

So, that is my reason for being here. I feel like a complete person. I could probably live the rest of life single and exist in a comfortable way, but it would not be a good life! It wouldn't simply be getting from day to day, finding a few things to enjoy here and there, but never completely filling the hole inside.


I don't necessarily agree there Fringey why couldn't you or anyone for that matter have a good and worthwhile life as a single person ...... Of course nobody wants to see themselves end up alone but lets just say you have already a huge amount of close family (sister, brothers nephews nieces) in other words you would never die alone ....would it be so bad to be not in a relationship! I think society has dictated to people for so long now on what it considers is bad or good or worthwile or useless that most find it hard to think as an individual. Society and the media have us all thinking that there is something abnormal or pitiful about being on your on own or being single well I say individuality can be worthwhile too .....something that should be cherished not stigmatised!!!




Being honest I heard about this place from someone who I chat to regularly on another forum and she knew I liked Star Trek so I thought I would have a look......... I find here very slow if I'm being completely truthful ...in the other forums I go to there's a mountain of new conversations practically every day I also find alot of people very different here too then what I would be normally used to ........ I think I have a more European (lets just say) humour while some have a very much more American one ...and they usually clash!!! I'm here to make friends and have a laugh not read a load of people feeling sorry for themselves because they can't get a relationship going with someone after all if I want to see people depressed and lonely and then given words of inspiration to brighten their day I'll watch Oprah or Dr Phil thank you very much Laughing
I do flirt ....in fact I enjoy flirting I won't lie I enjoy women's company and if I can find someone with the same love for Sci-fi as me well thats a bonus ....after the five hours of sweaty hot passionate love making we can then discuss the finer points of Star Trek The Next Generation over that cigarette Laughing
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valarules
(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

I read about this site on the Scifi weekly news and thought, "What the hell? Might be nice to meet people who enjoy sci-fi as much as I do. And maybe I'll h--k up with someone and we can meet in person." Well, I have to tell you that I was WRONG! There seems to be more talking about sci-fi then relationships and everyone lives on either coast, across the ocean, or five states over.

Honestly there are times that I wonder why the hell I joined this site, if all we're gonna talk about if Kirk is better than Picard or who would win in a fight: Clone troopers or Klingons. (and these are retorical questions)
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feedback




feedback

Joined:
January 5, 2005
Posts: 916

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This is just one of many interesting threads in the Trek Passions forums, and it raises some good questions.

In reviewing some of the comments, we thought we'd take a moment to mention a couple of things about the site, since it is still a little slow and empty compared to some other large SciFi sites online.

1) Trek Passions is still in it's infancy. The forums are only 9 months old...and the new chat system was only added last month. (Audio and Video chat were just added day before last.)

2) At this moment in time, there are just under 3000 members in Trek Passions...so it is unusual for people to find a lot of other members in their vicinity. The site is growing every day though, and with each new member, there is a chance that someone one of you will 'connect' with sign up.

3) We are adding new features to the site to help encourage more activity between members (like the new audio chat and webcam chat features).

4) We intend to focus in on how to tie conventions into the site, and even if members are too far apart to meet for coffee, hopefully some will have a chance to meet up at conventions.

Basically, we hope everyone will be patient as we build out the site, and as it builds it's members. And of course anything anyone can do to help spread the word is always appreciated.

Lastly, and this is probably the most important comment. Trek Passions is just 1 of 100+ sites in Passions Network. While every site is built to stand on it's own, as it's own community...we encourage all Passions Network members to explore the rest of the network too. Once you join the network, you can be a member of any site in the network without having to 're-join'. Just add the sites you're interested in, into your account.

Click on the 'Update Sites' link on the left of every page of the site (except the forums) to make sure you are in other sites that match 'who' you are as a person.

While you might enjoy posting on Trek Passions, please keep in mind that you could be making friends on any number of other sites where you share a common interest with other members too. Movies Passions? Music Passions? Yoga Passions? Intellectual Passions? Shy Passions? Etc.

Thanks again, and have fun!
Smile
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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject: Why are we all here?

Well I for one found out about this site by accident. But I am enjoying it so far and am talking to several people on email in this site. So far I have found most of them interesting. I too live a long ways from most people on this site. But I think I will keep coming here until I meet someone I can be with in the future. I think patience is the most important thing. All good things take time and sometimes you have to wait. I will be turning 45 shortly and have waited about ten years to decide to get back into the dating scene in the future. I have alot to learn but I know I will enjoy talking to people on here in the forums as well as on the emails. Rolling Eyes
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rayman




rayman

Joined:
March 14, 2006
Posts: 622

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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You know I totally forgot how I found this site, doesn't really matter now. I just think the idea of a dating site for sci-fi fans is way overdue. Compared to other sites on the Passion Network at least people post on the Trek forums everyday. As feedback says the site is in its infancy but I'm providing links on my webpage and message boards so that more people can join. So if someone follows my link joins and becomes the love of your life then you have to name your first child after me. Laughing
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fringey




fringey

Joined:
April 4, 2006
Posts: 1353

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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feedback wrote:
This is just one of many interesting threads in the Trek Passions forums, and it raises some good questions.

In reviewing some of the comments, we thought we'd take a moment to mention a couple of things about the site, since it is still a little slow and empty compared to some other large SciFi sites online.

1) Trek Passions is still in it's infancy. The forums are only 9 months old...and the new chat system was only added last month. (Audio and Video chat were just added day before last.)

2) At this moment in time, there are just under 3000 members in Trek Passions...so it is unusual for people to find a lot of other members in their vicinity. The site is growing every day though, and with each new member, there is a chance that someone one of you will 'connect' with sign up.

3) We are adding new features to the site to help encourage more activity between members (like the new audio chat and webcam chat features).

4) We intend to focus in on how to tie conventions into the site, and even if members are too far apart to meet for coffee, hopefully some will have a chance to meet up at conventions.

Basically, we hope everyone will be patient as we build out the site, and as it builds it's members. And of course anything anyone can do to help spread the word is always appreciated.

Lastly, and this is probably the most important comment. Trek Passions is just 1 of 100+ sites in Passions Network. While every site is built to stand on it's own, as it's own community...we encourage all Passions Network members to explore the rest of the network too. Once you join the network, you can be a member of any site in the network without having to 're-join'. Just add the sites you're interested in, into your account.

Click on the 'Update Sites' link on the left of every page of the site (except the forums) to make sure you are in other sites that match 'who' you are as a person.

While you might enjoy posting on Trek Passions, please keep in mind that you could be making friends on any number of other sites where you share a common interest with other members too. Movies Passions? Music Passions? Yoga Passions? Intellectual Passions? Shy Passions? Etc.

Thanks again, and have fun!
Smile


Hey, here's a suggestion. You mention wanting to connect with conventions. The simplest way is to send out flyers to the cons. Most of them have a table for fliers and I am sure they would not mind putting fliers out for you. If you have someone from the site who is going to the con, send them with them, even. You have a HUGE convention in Atlanta, Dragon Con, is just 28 days, where you could be exposed to around 30 thousand sci fi fans. And definitely start looking for other cons around the country. San Diego Comic Con is just a year off and they draw about 100 thousand fans!

You might even want to consider setting up a table at a few conventions as most have an area for fan organizations. Bring along a laptop or two with an internet connection and people could sign up while they are there at the con.

I think the biggest problem with this site is lack of exposure. I found out about this from someone who posted something on one of the Yahoo Groups I own. Otherwise, I would never have known about it.

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
"A life lived without passion is a life not lived."
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fringey




fringey

Joined:
April 4, 2006
Posts: 1353

PostPosted:     Post subject: Re: Why are we all here????
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lucifer666 wrote:
fringey wrote:

So, that is my reason for being here. I feel like a complete person. I could probably live the rest of life single and exist in a comfortable way, but it would not be a good life! It wouldn't simply be getting from day to day, finding a few things to enjoy here and there, but never completely filling the hole inside.


I don't necessarily agree there Fringey why couldn't you or anyone for that matter have a good and worthwhile life as a single person ...... Of course nobody wants to see themselves end up alone but lets just say you have already a huge amount of close family (sister, brothers nephews nieces) in other words you would never die alone ....would it be so bad to be not in a relationship! I think society has dictated to people for so long now on what it considers is bad or good or worthwile or useless that most find it hard to think as an individual. Society and the media have us all thinking that there is something abnormal or pitiful about being on your on own or being single well I say individuality can be worthwhile too .....something that should be cherished not stigmatised!!!


That is a valid point of view. For some people, being single works. For others, it doesn't. I am one who can work being single, but I far prefer, and desire, not to be. On the other hand, I don't see where being in a relationship means that you can't be an individual. Heck, any woman who would try to strip me of my originality wouldn't be around for very long at all. Laughing

Even though there are things I don't like about myself, on the whole, I like who I am. Anyone who would want to be with me would have to accept me as much as I do myself.

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
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fringey




fringey

Joined:
April 4, 2006
Posts: 1353

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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valarules wrote:
I read about this site on the Scifi weekly news and thought, "What the hell? Might be nice to meet people who enjoy sci-fi as much as I do. And maybe I'll h--k up with someone and we can meet in person." Well, I have to tell you that I was WRONG! There seems to be more talking about sci-fi then relationships and everyone lives on either coast, across the ocean, or five states over.

Honestly there are times that I wonder why the hell I joined this site, if all we're gonna talk about if Kirk is better than Picard or who would win in a fight: Clone troopers or Klingons. (and these are retorical questions)


Ah, but part of the joy of being a sci fi fan is that we do things just a little bit differently. Our mating rituals are strange to the outside world! Laughing

Seriously though, taking part in the forums is a good way for people to get some insight into who you are. While it might take a while, there s surley someone who will eventually will find their way to you. The best thing to do is to keep an open mind, a postive attitude, and the courage to keep posting, keep arguing the merits of Kirk and Picard (Picard is better, BTW Cool ) and whether Klingons would kick Stormtrooper butt (They would!). Treat the forums and chats as you would any other sci fi website. Talk about the things that interest you and the things that don't.

People can look at a profile, but that doesn't really give them an insight into you the way that reading posts does. I figure anyone who finds me interesting, it won't be because of my profile, but my posts. Then they can check out my profile for the 911 and contact me if I interest them. And, as "feedback" said, this is a young site. Give it time.

Don't expect a relationship to jump up and bite you quickly. Sometimes they sneak up on you when you aren't even looking for one. Laughing

I reiterate the most important things to remember to do on this site, or any other dating site.

1. Be yourself.
2. Be honest with yourself and others.
3. Be patient.
4. Have the courage to not give up when things look tough.
5. Maintain a positive attitude and show it. Negativity is the quickest way to turn people off to you.

I know I have said it before, but I am a hopeless romantic. I truly do believe there is someone for everyone. It just make take time to sort out the right one from the billions to choose from. Very Happy

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
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fringey




fringey

Joined:
April 4, 2006
Posts: 1353

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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rayman wrote:
You know I totally forgot how I found this site, doesn't really matter now. I just think the idea of a dating site for sci-fi fans is way overdue. Compared to other sites on the Passion Network at least people post on the Trek forums everyday. As feedback says the site is in its infancy but I'm providing links on my webpage and message boards so that more people can join. So if someone follows my link joins and becomes the love of your life then you have to name your first child after me. Laughing


I am trying to do the same when it comes to links. I even wrote a special entry in my blog about Trek Passions. Keep it up and people will find this place. Very Happy

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
"A life lived without passion is a life not lived."
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vixi




vixi

Joined:
August 1, 2006
Posts: 40

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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Why am I here? Aside from the fact I would like to find a man who shares my interests, I have always wanted someone that is not afraid to be unique. There is a stigma in society that dictates that "trekkies" are not the norm. If that is not the norm, then I consciously choose not to be normal 8 ) Growing up I always gravitated to the less popular guys. I am also a member of Nerd Passions. hehe
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rayman




rayman

Joined:
March 14, 2006
Posts: 622

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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I think we can all agree that we're here to find people that love science-fiction/fantasy or even horror, making a connection is another obstacle. Another problem is not enough people on this site, their needs to be more word-of-mouth out there on the Internet. Fringey suggested flyers at the big sci-fi conventions which I think is a great idea.
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feedback




feedback

Joined:
January 5, 2005
Posts: 916

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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Just a reminder that people add sites into their Passions Network account, after joining any of the 100+ sites in the network.

Someone can join Nerd Passions, or Intellectual Passions, or Christian Passions, or Jewish Passions, or Atheist Passions...and once they are going through the registration process, they can decide if Trek Passions is also a fit for them.

The benefit here is that ANY site in the network can lead people to join Trek Passions...so there are really over a hundred other sites helping to grow the number of members here.

We have people promoting Native American Passions, as passionately Smile as members here promote Trek Passions.

And there is a growing number of people/sites promoting Shy Passions, and Disabled Passions, and, and, and...

Basically, I just wanted to let you all know that even though the number of people here is relatively small (roughly 3100+ at the time of this post), there are new members everyday...and they are coming into the site from all over the place. From specific links and mentions in blogs, and from our other sites.

We are going to begin cross promoting sites a little more in the network soon, because many times people sign up, and then forget all the other options available to them.

In fact, if you have a moment, click on the 'Update Sites' link on the left side of the page (on the main site, not the forums area), and scroll down the list to make sure you have all the sites you are interested in, in your account.

Separately, we think we will be able to begin testing the new IM system later this week. We still have a few issues to work out, and the initial release will be very basic, but we're excited to add this feature into the site.

Once again, thanks for your patience as we grow,
Very Happy
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thenighthawk_PREV
(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

Honestly I have no real idea why I'm here. I'd like to think I'll find the right girl here, but it seems most everyone my age is very far away... As much as I'd love to be able to jump up and go 500-1,000 miles to meet someone it's just not in the cards right now. So, in the meantime, I guess I sit here and talk about sci-fi stuff while I wait for more people to find the site.

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