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lucifer666 (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: The Devil yet merely seeks |
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The Devil yet merely seeks
a woman's butt cheeks
the strength to thrust
with unquenchable ----
A buried head in a large bust
Should I open my fly,
And poke her in the eye,
Or do I dare?
My snakes lair,
As it must be handled with care.
Will I be able to come
who knows where it's from
Its milkiness, its delight
The texture sometimes light
Its speed sometimes gives fright
I must!.... for h---- I remain,
Even though I'm met with disdain
For I must be who I am
Slam bam thank you ma'am
And now all is again calm
Whispering she loves me
I get up for a wee
She declares her loyalty
I listen to her plea
The truth... she does not see
For I am the Beast, Satan's son
Armed and dangerous with biological gun
Control or change a female may try
Not succeeding no matter how hard she will cry
Fallen heads, she will continue to pry.
Poem by Lucifer666 (Inspired by Ninjabear's 'None but simple pleasures seek')
01 August 2006 |
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lucifer666 (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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Located feelings switched to off
Swollen Guilt safely aloft
The pursuit will commence once again
A party, a dance or sordid den
My victim's trust...just a question of when?
Blonde or brunette it doesn't matter
all suckered in by the charm and the chatter
of the numbered one and his varied ways
Deceptions and snaring his preys
Taking hours yet some even days.
These desires must be satisfied
my methods ........tested and tried
Hate me, loathe me, judge me if you want
I only seize what they usually flaunt
Their sexiness they tease and they taunt
Am I repentive.......every single time
but lots do it .......and it isn't a crime
They feel good for days sometimes hours
Helped along by my seducing powers
Is it really my fault the mood sours?
Poem by Lucifer666 (Inspired by Ninjabear's 'None but simple pleasures seek')
02 August 2006 |
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iswallowedabug (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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Lucifer666, how old are you really? 13? 15, maybe? |
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lucifer666 (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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LOL Why did you not like my poem iswallowedabug ....I think my devil character signifies a type of man who goes out just for S-- not caring whose hearts he breaks as long as gets what he wants!!
And answering your question I'm 21 and a bit ....going on 12
I'm actually quite annoyed ...whats wrong with my poem? |
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iswallowedabug (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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lucifer666 wrote: I'm actually quite annoyed ...whats wrong with my poem?
"How long a list would you like?" -- Avon
(sorry, couldn't resist)
My apologies. I in no way intended to disparage your poems;
I was disparaging your character....
(sorry; couldn't resist again; having self-control issues today)
Seriously, though, after reading your poems, the first thing that
entered my head was the thought they seemed to be born of
the over-sexed, adolescent id. And since I'm not censoring today,
I asked. |
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lucifer666 (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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Well shoot me down thats me told
Your problem is because the character is so vile to you that you have jumped completely to a wrong conclusion ....I wasn't actually referring to myself here within the verses but had labelled a type of man which there is quite a few about as a Devil ...... a type of beast who is torn between his ---- and his conscience ultimately blaming everyone else but himself for the problem.
Not every poem is uplifting or just about the nice person you know ....perhaps before you label people's work over sexed or adolscent maybe next time you will ask me ...what did I mean by the poem ...what were my thoughts when I wrote it and not just jump to conclusions because you don't like the content!!!!
Blake (humouring him) I'll try to do better next time.
Avon: We had one chance and you wasted it. There won't be a "next time." |
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iswallowedabug (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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lucifer666 wrote: Your problem is
Amongst my problems are such diverse elements as...
lucifer666 wrote: because the character is so vile to you that you have jumped completely to a wrong conclusion ....I wasn't actually referring to myself here within the verses but had labelled a type of man which there is quite a few about as a Devil ...... a type of beast who is torn between his ---- and his conscience ultimately blaming everyone else but himself for the problem.
Are you jumping to the conclusion, yourself, that my impression
had nothing to do with circumstance and only to do with content?
And why are you jumping to the conclusion that I thought your
poems were self-referential?
That is, my impression, flawed as it may be, was that you posted
two poems nipping at the heels of someone else posting two poems,
and your poems, although "inspired" by the latter, took an
entirely different, much more literal and graphic approach. The
juxtaposition of the rapidity of composition, content, and altered
stylings made self-indulgence come to mind more than self-reflection.
"A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits."
- Lazarus Long
I probably would have thought something similar had Andrew
Marvel himself posted "To his coy mistress" in such a fashion.
lucifer666 wrote: Not every poem is uplifting or just about the nice person you know ....perhaps before you label people's work over sexed or adolscent maybe next time you will ask me ...what did I mean by the poem ...what were my thoughts when I wrote it and not just jump to conclusions because you don't like the content!!!!
Er...isn't asking you how old you were a question and not a label?
You then asked what was wrong with the poem, and I responded by
telling you I wasn't critiquing, I had just commented with what popped
into my head after I read it which was that the poem was coming from
an adolescent id kind of place. Your further explanation of your
motivations makes me wonder if what you're describing as
the ---- and conscience your character is torn between could
be a parallel for the adolescent id and maturity/growth that
an individual is torn between as well.
Whatever. You're free to infer whatever insults you want if it
entertains you. But, to be fair, you are putting words in my mouth.
I made jokes, which I parenthetically acknowledged as such, and
I told you the first thing that popped into my head when I read your
poems. I have not said your character was vile, I have not
commented on the quality or said I disliked the content. I have not
shared my thoughts on those things with you, nor shall I.
If you are so bothered, let me know, and I'll be happy to erase
the text of my posts in this section the next time I log in. |
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lucifer666 (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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My dear you fairly like to play with words don't you...I almost could get lost in the literary mazes you create.
Have I jumped to a conclusion .....you appear to label my character over sexed and adolescent
"Seriously, though, after reading your poems, the first thing that
entered my head was the thought they seemed to be born of the over-sexed, adolescent id."
"Lucifer666, how old are you really? 13? 15, maybe?"
I find it amazing you never once even bothered replying to Bear's poetry before but because I put one in you seem to think it is okay to attack my character and ridicule my poetry as some adolescent attempt. Also your wonders never cease either that you can by quickly glancing at my work can conclude it self-indulgent and unreflective in style ....Aren't we the literary critic!! Write a poem yourself before judging others attempts. You then continue your conceit by now telling me what I wanted to explain in my own character ...I told you what I mean't so forget your Parallel
Now with all that said ....don't worry I'm nt bothered iswallowedabug .....I thought I might get a bit of crack going with Ninjabear
You are a feisty little one aren't you ......... I like it!!! |
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iswallowedabug (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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I did not ridicule, and I made a point to tell you it was the first thing
that popped into my head -- NOT a critique or reflected upon.
And just so you know, I have published and been paid for my poetry which
is one of the reasons why I am careful NOT to criticize the work of others. I
know how it feels.
And I have not labeled or commented on your character other than in jest;
I keep such thoughts to myself.
Stop projecting. |
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lucifer666 (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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Well bully for you ....I'm sorry I'm not up to yours and Ninjabear's high poetic standards!!!
I'm delighted I didn't spend long at the poetry because if that is what you consider being careful NOT to criticise or hurt well you need to go back and brush up on your subtlety skills
You ask me am I aged 13? and then you respond to Ninjabear's telling him well done even though the first part of his poem has been sitting there without reply since I started posting here
Oh and projecting is sometimes the only way to get seen or heard ....and I'm just not the one to sit in the shadows ...if that is what you mean't by projecting
You know......... I really should just leave I don't even know why I'm still here posting on Trek Passions being honest |
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invisiblesteph
invisiblesteph
Joined: April 8, 2006
Posts: 99
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Posted: Post subject: |
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well i thought it was hilarious |
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iswallowedabug (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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The first line of your poem is obviously modeled after the first line of
someone else's soul-searching, self-reflective poem but yours goes
straight to references like "butt cheeks." A natural responses is
to think it juvenile or taunting.
Can you honestly claim you were not at all poking the bear?
It's not about poetic standards; I love a good limerick, not only
all the soul-searching monologues.
If your poems did not convey to me what you intended, it was either
because I'm a mutant freak who can't understand them (which is fair),
or because you didn't get your point across completely (which may
or may not be true depending on how big a mutant I am).
Steph thinks it was hilarious, and I'm glad she says so. Good for her,
good for you.
What I mean by projection is the psychological term. Projection
is a defense mechanism where people attribute their own feelings or
impulses to someone else when they are threatened or afraid.
I asked how old you were really, and then expanded on that to
say your poems evoked in me an initial response that they seemed
born of an oversexed adolescent id. From that, you attributed to me
huge character indictments, condemnation of your poetry, and
all kinds of other reflected upon conclusions, none of which I
had said or implied. Since they didn't come from me, maybe
they were coming from you. Maybe you were expressing your
own fears or rejection or whatever. But they didn't come from me.
And it's ludicrous to suggest that I was condemning you and any id-like
behavior of yours when I made it a point not only to tease you and
point out I was teasing, but to make it clear I was being id-like myself.
I repeatedly said I wasn't censoring. How can I be critical of
someone else's inner adolescent when I'm embracing my own?
And if you really want to know why it took longer to respond to
Ninjabear's poetry, it's because his poems evoked a completely
different response in me. His poems took feelings and experiences
I can relate to and made them more know-able. And my first response
to that is not knowing what to say.
If you want to hate me, please do. I'm an American, I'm used to being
hated by people from other countries for things I haven't said
or done. But I'd prefer that if you hate me, or are angry with me,
that it's for what I've actually said or done. Hate me because I
teased too much. Hate me because I can't express myself clearly
enough so as not to be misunderstood. Hate me because I take
you too seriously or not seriously enough. But when you hate me,
get it right.
How do you go from calling me feisty and saying you like it to saying
you don't know why you post here and that you should just leave?
Don't leave on my account. I'm guessing lots of people would miss
the chance to read your posts. You sure crack Steph up. But since
it looks like we are too alien to each other to achieve understanding,
I won't respond to any of your posts in the future unless you make
it clear that my responses are welcome. |
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lucifer666 (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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Hi Steph...... thanks I'm glad someone likes me
Yes my first line is modelled after bear's poem I don't deny that where we do differ is your assumption that it is juvenile or taunting to say 'butt cheeks' we all possess them even the more mature of us so why can't it be uttered in an adult manner ...could it be yourself that has jumped to conclusions that it was juvenile and taunting??
It started out as a bit of harmless fun but I thought it improved as it went on and had a serious message .....can you honestly claim it doesn't iswallowedabug? ....besides Ninjabear can well handle himself and can take a joke
iswallowedabug wrote: "I love a good Limerick".
Well if that is true why do you seem to have a problem with my poem ....it was harmless fun that didn't threaten Bear's artistic vision in any way. I think what does bother me most is that if you didn't like my poetry why did you comment at all only to try and demean my work. Did it ever cross your mind iswallowedabug that I actually like Bear's poem too and he may have in fact as I said earlier inspired me to write mine....one of the greatest compliments you can give something is to be parody it. Its the reason you have people like George Lucas who love films like Hardware Wars which basically takes the mickey out of Star Wars.
iswallowedabug wrote: Since they didn't come from me, maybe
they were coming from you. Maybe you were expressing your
own fears or rejection or whatever. But they didn't come from me.
You really are something else...... all that stuff about my age ....the fact that you so obviously came on wrongfully in defense of Ninjabear's artistic rights and now your trying to turn it all around and say that its my own insecurities that have sparked this off........Well I'm sorry but you ignited this by coming on here judging my intent on Bear seeing only with tunnel vision and thinking with only biased views.
iswallowedabug wrote: but to make it clear I was being id-like myself.
I repeatedly said I wasn't censoring.
Censoring?? You could be clearer ....like saying you weren't being serious or you were only messing or jesting.....Censoring really doesn't signify to me what you intended if that is truly what you intended?.
I find it hard to believe that the very short but hard hitting Well Done!! on Bear's poem was not done for my benefit .....but I will give the benefit of the doubt!
iswallowedabug wrote: If you want to hate me, please do.
I don't hate you at all .....I make it a personal policy not to hate anyone ....I just don't like you taking something I did and turning it around to suggest it was something nasty particularly as you don't know me or even understood what I was doing....For someone who has had work published you would think you would be encouraging others to write ........ even if it is crap in your mind.
iswallowedabug wrote: How do you go from calling me feisty and saying you like it to saying
you don't know why you post here and that you should just leave?
I said it in a joking manner because believe it or not I don't like fighting with you or anyone and I thought it might break the tension a bit .....as you can see it failed!! I don't know if you have noticed but I have posted alot lately simply because I want to make friends here.
I also don't want you feeling that your posts and responses are not welcome because I would never do that!! No matter how different we are. |
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iswallowedabug (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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"The more I talk, the more I say, the less you seem to hear.
I'm speechless in a most peculiar way." -- Tears for Fears |
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lucifer666 (deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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"Too silly aspirations shuttle in my head
Circling and rotating ....never end;
Pane of dreams proclaimed and shattered
Effortlessly dispirited not easily mended" |
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